I am trying to relax, it isn’t easy. On days that I feel good, I often do too much. Last week when I woke up, I felt great. So I did three loads of laundry, went for a walk, did some painting, and then prepped and cooked for a barbecue. I definitely did too much. Today, I just want to sit. AJ told me to relax, he insists that he can take care of everything. He is happy to do it. Then out of nowhere he says, “You will have to take care of me when its my turn.”. I got sick to my stomach….What? Why would he say that?

I immediately told him, he isn’t allowed to get sick. This my thing. I would not be taking care of him He is the better person. He laughed because I obviously would take care of him. Problem is now I’m stressed about it because I don’t want him to be too needy when he has his hypothetical illness, so now I can’t be too needy with my actual cancer.

I’m not a monster. Although I am starting to look like Charlize Theron in Monster because my face is swollen from steroids, and I didn’t get my hair highlighted because I was sure I would lose it during my cancer treatments, even though the nurse told me I wouldn’ on the particular drug we were starting with.  I didn’t  want to waste the money on my hair. Now my hair is a mess, my face is swollen and my husband is threatening to take care of me.

Pick of me: Swollen face and bad hair roots…standing in front of Cancer center.

Sidenote: AJ is amazing and has shouldered so much in the last few weeks. I truly believe he is the better person.

Except in this pic he is more concerned with the camera than with Maggie getting her ice cream…lol.

7 thoughts on “In sickness and in health….preferably health”

  1. you are too funny! You and AJ are both wonderful people. No reason to compare you two. Love y’all both and you each have many strengths and gifts.

  2. Been praying for you and your recovery. So glad that you have such a great husband! None of us likes to be in need, but we all have moments when we are completely dependent on others. Hope you are back to full strength as soon as possible!

  3. You two have balanced each other so far and I know you will continue. When I went through MY cancer treatment I felt Michael was not getting enough credit. It is so hard to watch the person you love lose her hair (I did), have mood swings because of medications, steroids, etc. I became an advocate for the care givers!

    Fast forward 14 years, I am cancer free and Michael has Throat Cancer and I am the one driving to treatment, making sure he eats, sitting with him in chemo rooms
    . We are blessed that we are both healthy now
    Marriage works that way and you find the strength even when you think you don’t have any left. You do not deserve this but have found strength in each other up until now and will continue to . Love is worth it!

  4. Jenny,
    You are always beautiful on the outside and the inside. Together you and AJ make an invincible team. You never lose that beautiful smile.

  5. Ummmmmm
    If that picture is you looking bad then girl…..I’m jealous! Both of you are rock stars in my book! I only wish we lived closer because I would love to be involved in your lives on the regular. So much love for you ALL!!!

  6. My goodness! So sorry this has happened!! Prayers that God will surround your family and lift you up.

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