I am trying to relax, it isn’t easy. On days that I feel good, I often do too much. Last week when I woke up, I felt great. So I did three loads of laundry, went for a walk, did some painting, and then prepped and cooked for a barbecue. I definitely did too much. Today, I just want to sit. AJ told me to relax, he insists that he can take care of everything. He is happy to do it. Then out of nowhere he says, “You will have to take care of me when its my turn.”. I got sick to my stomach….What? Why would he say that?
I immediately told him, he isn’t allowed to get sick. This my thing. I would not be taking care of him He is the better person. He laughed because I obviously would take care of him. Problem is now I’m stressed about it because I don’t want him to be too needy when he has his hypothetical illness, so now I can’t be too needy with my actual cancer.
I’m not a monster. Although I am starting to look like Charlize Theron in Monster because my face is swollen from steroids, and I didn’t get my hair highlighted because I was sure I would lose it during my cancer treatments, even though the nurse told me I wouldn’ on the particular drug we were starting with. I didn’t want to waste the money on my hair. Now my hair is a mess, my face is swollen and my husband is threatening to take care of me.
Pick of me: Swollen face and bad hair roots…standing in front of Cancer center.
Sidenote: AJ is amazing and has shouldered so much in the last few weeks. I truly believe he is the better person.
Except in this pic he is more concerned with the camera than with Maggie getting her ice cream…lol.