Gasping

Gasping. She gasps for air. The oxygen is sucked out of the room. I can’t breathe. My mind is overwhelmed with the thoughts of her struggle. Why the breathing? Why now? Inhale. Exhale. I keep telling her. Breathe, just breathe I tell us both. This shall pass. It will return but this moment shall pass. Inhale. Exhale. You smile and enjoy life between the struggles. Inhale. Exhale. Gasping until your body falls asleep. No wonder you are constantly tired. Your body battles itself everyday. Breathe.

In this moment I will hold you. Your body finally relaxed but both of our minds racing. Click. A selfie.

When you can’t breathe again I will be here. Holding my breathe while you gasp for yours.

Gasping. She gasps for air. The oxygen is sucked out of the room. I can’t breathe. My mind is overwhelmed with the thoughts of her struggle. Why the breathing? Why now? Inhale. Exhale. I keep telling her. Breathe, just breathe I tell us both. This shall pass. It will return but this moment shall pass. Inhale. Exhale. You smile and enjoy life between the struggles. Inhale. Exhale. Gasping until your body falls asleep. No wonder you are constantly tired. Your body battles itself everyday. Breathe. #rettsyndrome #justbreathe

Moving Forward

Work in the entertainment industry had all but completely halted and the particular segment of the business I was in was going to be slow to return. Zoom school was not working for either kid. In person school was going to feel too risky. So, with no education plans, no employment plans, and no social plans, we did the only thing that felt safe at the time. We bought an RV.