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It’s hard to keep stress low especially when the unknown is so vast. There’s only so much internet research I can do and not a lot is written in a language laymen can understand. As much as I want to believe I could be a geneticist if I put my mind to it, I’m afraid that ship has sailed.
At work I was pretty good at managing the stress until I had all the information. I have always felt there was no sense in worrying about things that weren’t worth worrying about. Basically, until the whole picture is clear, there was no sense in worrying about the details. This is different though. I’m constantly worried we’re not doing enough, we’re not doing it fast enough, and we’re at the mercy of other people.
And through this all I am reminded of the serenity prayer, which I’m more apt to describe as the slaughterhouse five prayer: grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom always to know the difference.
The only problem with that is that I refuse, at this stage, to believe I cannot change this and I’m not sure if that’s wisdom or strength.
